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ED O.G. & DA BULLDOGS
Let me tell you something, clown talking shit about Edo. Before you heard a track off A&E in Bodega, before there was Edo G., there was Ed O.G. & Da Bulldogs. Back when I was roughly 6 or 7, I thought “I Got to Have It” was the freshest, best song ever, because Ed was from Boston- not NY, not LA, BOSTON. That was like 91 or 92. So, before you bad mouth THE ED O.G. for not being the nastiest lyricist, like he’s some new jack, realize you’re talking about a fuckin legend and have some respect, twerp, and then take your ass back to suburban Connecticut.
“Nothing gets my dick hard like looking at a big pile of US currency and high caliber ammunition. I keep a picture of a bunch of gold bricks covered in .44 hollow tips in my wallet that I have to look at before I put it in my wife. I’ve never seen an episode of Seinfeld and I think there are mutinous subliminal messages in rap music.”
-Dick Cheney
A word to the wise, Rakim will be at the Paradise this Sunday.
Paper Mache Bear has decided to run for political office in the near future. He may become president of the United States, or he may prevail in a local ward election in which most people forgot to vote or his sentient opponent was caught in a bribe or tossing bodies out of the trunk of his Lincoln Continental. Paper Mache Bear has plenty of time to calibrate his aspirations because in politics, urgency is a function not of situational demand, but of monetary supply; and Paper Mache Bear is not in anyone’s pockets (yet).
The purpose of this site is to raise awareness of Paper Mache Bear’s Campaign To Change The World by getting elected to public office, and concomitantly to help him get elected to public office.
You may have the following questions:
Q: Paper Mache Bear is an inanimate object, and even as such, he has no body.
A: That’s a statement, not a question.
Q: Then how could an inanimate object benefit me or my constituency as an elected representative?
A: Inanimate objects possess a greater body of knowledge and a keener intelligence than most elected officials. Furthermore, as Sir Philip Sidney once wrote of the poet, the inanimate object “nothing affirmeth, and therefore never lieth.” In other words, unlike sentient politicians, Paper Mache Bear will never lie to you.
Q: Why is his left arm longer than his right arm?
A: Paper Mache Bear leans to the left.
Q: And what about his missing claws on the right paw?
A: This is only proof that Paper Mache Bear will fight, tooth and claw, for your interests and your rights.
Q: Are you serious about this?
A: Yes.
Q: Then how can I get involved?
A: The Paper Mache Bear Campaign To Change The World is currently designing promotional items like t-shirts and posters, which should be ready by the time Paper Mache Bear selects his first political contest. In the mean time, you can follow his speeches and pointed analysis on this site, and feel free to link to this site on your blog, Twitter, or Facebook. But be patient; revolutions don’t happen overnight.
*This was reblogged from the official Paper Mache Bear campaign site.
I would also accept this, or a real suitcase full of money. Preferably American money.
This needs to be my birthday cake next year.
